That Ever Present Weight

Hey All!

For the past month and a half I have been working quite hard to lose weight. I wasn't "large" per say, but the weight gain made me feel extremely uncomfortable and not being able to fit into any of my clothes wasn't a plus either. But this morning, as I stepped onto the scale, I finally reached my goal weight! Exciting is an understatement.

Since I was eight, I had weight issues. In elementary school, I was the fat and ugly girl. In middle school I wasn't much better and in high school, I was skinnier, but not fit in any sense of the word. About a year or so after graduation a I noticed a weight gain and from then on it's been an up and down cycle of gain and loss. Last spring I began my first super diet and it went great! I worked out, ate right and felt on top of the world. I was three pounds away from my ultimate weight goal and then boooommmm. I went to Europe, where I ate whatever I wanted, didn't work out and let myself completely go. But in two weeks, I didn't gain much weight because of all the walking around and busy schedule. However, when I came home, I stuck to my Europe lifestyle instead of returning to exercise and healthy food I binged on ice cream, burgers, fast food and ceased exercise all together. I not only gained what I lost back, but also gained even more. Feeling like a balloon, with more and more acne on my face as my weight increased, and with only one pair of jeans fitting me, I couldn't handle it anymore.

Weight loss is such a struggle. And it cannot be accomplished without determination. Three weeks ago I went to Florida for a few days, where I yet again, hopped off the diet. When I returned, I said to myself, "Monday you need to start working out and eating right." Monday came along and suddenly I was "too tired" to work out. Next Monday arrived and I was just "so hungry" I couldn't help but eat the delicious fatty foods. But really, I was just feeding myself excuses and now it's even harder to jump back into my healthy lifestyle.

I look at myself every morning in the mirror and have begun to see little changes here and there: my stomach getting larger, my cheeks looking chubbier, the skin on my arms sagging a bit more. When thinking how great I felt about my appearance three weeks ago as opposed to now, my will to work out is slowly returning.

Today will be the first day back on the treadmill in almost a month and although I don't want to leave the comfort of my bed, I have to push myself to get back to where I want to be. That's all exercise and dieting involves: the determination to take action. I could say I want to lose weight all I want, but at the end of the day saying doesn't really help. It's all about action. So anyone else sharing the same difficulties I feel your pain, but work through it and you'll become what you've always wanted to be!

Thanks for reading All. Until next time!

-Rachel

Let's go Fashion: CHEAP!

Hey All,

Today I had a bit of fun shopping through all of the left over sales from President's Weekend. Commercialism was at its finest this past week or so, smashing us over the head with corny Abraham Lincoln and George Washington clips of them driving Honda's, shopping bags strung upon their arms, dancing to crazy music that never even existed while they lived. I practically risked my life driving to the mall on Sunday and Monday. All I needed were two things (one which I forgot on Sunday unfortunately and had to drive back for the next day). Let me just say that walking into a mall on a commercialized holiday that represents how materialistic our nation actually is, really is mind boggling. Literally everyone goes to the mall: to eat, to shop, to stare, to walk (sloowwwww) and to hang out. What is so amazing to us Americans about a mall? Why on earth would you bring your children there to just pass time? Bring them to a museum or read them a good book. These people, the various shopping fanatics, slow stroller pushers, window shopping wanderers, are a huge deterrent to people who have a simple plan in mind. As I made my way from one end of the mall to the next, I had to strategically walk around a family striding through as if they were at the zoo, around couples who argued about whether or not to go into Sephora, and around those great great people who loved to stop at each food vendor to get a free sample or buy a "little" snack. I cringed.

So what did I do today? Oh, I decided, "why not go shopping and look through the weekend left overs?" And actually, my plan wasn't regrettable. With everyone back to work, with children back at school, the stores were decent and only entrenched with the mini-van moms, elderly couples and people like me who just have free time on their hands to spend money they absolutely do not have. The sales weren't fantastic, but there was a good amount to search through. I stayed clear of the mall, after the traumatizing last two days, I didn't think it was necessary to go back there again. I went to Marshalls and Kohls. Kohls has always been a hit or miss for me. I tend to find their clothes pricey, unnecessarily so. But Marshalls, that has been my heaven for many years!

Granted, I found a lot of items I could've bought today if they didn't have a hole in the seam or a rip by the zipper, but that's the whole point of Marshalls; you have to search until you land in that gold mine. Now that I sound just as materialistic as the mall people I just complained about, I'm going to be honest. I am materialistic to an extent. But I'm materialistically smart, if that makes sense. I buy things when I need to or sparingly and yet I love every second of searching for clothes, trying them on and of course purchasing those winners I absolutely cannot let go of. I love fashion. Most importantly I love buying new clothes that are smaller sizes. I have been losing weight and recently lost seven pounds. It was a great excuse to spend some time and cash on myself.

What did I come out with? A new pair of jeans and an AWESOME purse. I know I know, what does the purse have to do with losing weight? Well, nothing at all, but hey, a girl's gotta have a few nice bags! But anyway, my point is, to be a strategic shopper, it's smart to look for the cheapest items at the easiest time, which is usually AFTER the holiday. Black Friday and Christmas season has some great sales, but the truly amazing mark downs don't really occur until after Christmas or even after New Year's. In the span of a day or so after the holidays, that's really the best time to drag yourself out and get everything you want for cheap. My day out was definitely worth it, and I will never EVER be as naive as to shop on holiday again (except Black Friday...because well, that's just an experience within itself).

Hope you all have enjoyed my ranting and raving. My new purse is down below :) Nine West Felicity Handbag. Shop Smart. Until next time!

-Rachel     

The First

Hey All,

Even though there's actually no one to speak to at the moment, but hopefully I'll get a following after a few posts! This blog is intended to be about everything and anything in my life; from books, to authors, to fashion, movies, employment (always a biggie in my life) and whatever else I come up with.

Sooo, a little bit about myself: I'm a 22 year old graduate student attempting to achieve a Master's in Fine Arts with a concentration on creative writing. I received my undergraduate degree at Marist College and it was there that I decided to change my ultimate career goal from lawyer to writer. My undergrad was a roller coaster for me and to make a long story short, I hated it. This past year and a half as a student of creative writing has been wonderful and amazing. I know I've chosen the right decision for my future.

But where does that leave me now? Basically I'm in my last full semester of the M.F.A. and next fall the two classes I take will solely concentrate on my thesis, which is a real publishable novel with a minimum of 150 pages. Now, I know some people may think: WHAT THE HECK?! 150 PAGES? Honestly, I'm not sweating the amount I have to write; it's all about the content for me. My novel is on my mind at all times. Writing has sincerely become my life. There's never a time I don't think about it, I don't itch for it. When I have a bad, like a crying, I hate the world type of day, all I need to do is open my laptop get to Microsoft Word and open document holding my novel. After a few hours of writing, I truly feel as if nothing can stop me, as if everything that I was upset about prior to writing means nothing at all. I think, that if I had to live alone for the rest of my life with only my pen and paper, I could be happy, or create my own happiness. Now, believe me, I'd rather not live the rest of my life with only my writing to sustain my happiness, but I know I could do it if I had to.

In a nut shell, this is me. I'm obsessed with reading and writing, especially now that school has began, I'm going into overdrive. But please, don't think this is going to be some stuffy nerd blog updated with thoughts of Shakespeare and Plato. Because it won't.On top of reading and writing, I like looking my best, feeling amazing about myself debating politics and many more things. People are complex with many different likes and dislikes. You'll be finding out all of mine and hopefully be entertained as you read it all.

Thanks for reading!

-Rachel